*Before*
I want you to know I was dragged here. I want that on the record, notarized, timestamped, backed up to whatever cloud still exists. My friend Kara signed me up for a robot dance class and she did it the way people do cruel things now — she sent me a gift link with a little animation of confetti and a message that said *you deserve this* and I couldn't tell if she was being sincere or conducting an experiment on me. Both, probably. Kara has a psychology degree she uses exclusively on people she loves.
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